ALL ACCOUNTS AND MIXTURE: "Lesbian Desire," "Night Is This Anyway," and "Family of Begin Again" by Robin Reagler

By Robin Reagler

Lesbian Desire

My old mouth, my new mouth

They both want to meet her

And although she might expel

Words filled with philosophy

There would be otherables

Of this I am quite sure

I am talking about an economy

Of erotic communication I am

Talking about an unforgivable

Attraction, the double helix

Made up of women entwined

And worshipping one another

With bodies more naked each night

I am talking more than I should

The landscape is thrumming my feelings

Sex is vibrational, I am music

Somebody has spilled sugar on

The sidewalk where a new day

Begins by lunching on sunrise

And I (he/she/they) dictate

A love letter to a woman

A beautiful woman who reads

Constantly who longs for love secretly

Who pretends not to know this much


Night Is This Anyway

The beautiful human machine that

I admire diagonally has grown these

wings under limited starlight, reeking

of tenderness, resting in a bed of leaves.

Feelings leak out into the dark.

Walking over the tiniest of hills

I have no option except to listen,

listen and translate eucalyptus in its

innocence, bent over, grey-green,

incapable of sincere communication

although no one values sincerity

any more because that could unravel

the moon.  High-pitched sounds

contain true, random messages;

this one connects the concepts

of bones and loneliness, the 3 a.m.

search for the unlit hallway leading

to the place we sleep. And as we sleep

our limbs tendril around one another,

passion is a vine, climbing. It’s in this

way that people begin to fly.


The Family of Begin Again

Anger begins in the mind and if ignored, floods the body.

I try to believe the mind is one with the body. That’s hard for me.

My mind can’t stop talking, obsessing over the body.

My mind keeps talking to itself about my mother.

It talks about her in her voice, her intonations, and her diction.

It binds the remembered with the feared.

It has the power to make things happen, but instead it makes things

stop happening. It could blind you.

 

And yet to you, I say yes. I say yes,

whether bridge or ford,

whether seam or hem.

Or yes, as rainwater floods the bayou’s concrete walls and seeps into the city.

Yes, and still yes, as the characters in this story handle each other for the first time.

And yes, as the run-up contains both threads of moonlight and anger.

 

There is a strand of anger wire-live and tying down my tongue.

There is a strand of anger that can only be quelled by dreams.

 

Who can explain the small stone in my mouth?

Who dreamed the stone, my mother or me?

 

I meant to say characters. In that story.

Because these are the clothes we hide in.

We ache for invisibility, for the escape from our own bodies.

 

And yet. You.

And yet. Me.

Just alive, just bravely alive and vibrating

With words spilling out that hold us in this grid

and never sleep and never cry.


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About the Author:

Robin Reagler is the author of TEETH & TEETH (Headmistress Press, 2018), winner of the Charlotte Mew Prize selected by Natalie Diaz, and DEAR RED AIRPLANE (Seven Kitchens Press, 2011, 2018). She is the Executive Director of Writers in the Schools (WITS) in Houston. She recently served as Chair of the AWP (Association of Writers & Writing Programs) Board of Trustees.

About All Accounts:

All Accounts and Mixture is an annual online feature celebrating the work of LGBTQIA+ writers and artists. For this series, we seek work from authors who self-identify as "queer," while acknowledging that this designation is subjective and highly personal. Our goal is to provide a forum for writers whose voices might be mis- or underrepresented by the literary mainstream. Submissions are open from June 1 to July 1. Poetry, prose, visual art, reviews and interviews will all be considered. Visit Submittable for more details.